This blog is a little different than others. I like to talk about sex, porn, fetishes, etc., but I also like to post editorials about some serious topics and reviews. I also have a sense of humor, so expect me to poke fun at things!

If you don't have an open mind, then this place isn't for you. On the other hand, if you have an open mind and a sense of humor, please check out some of my entries!

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Auf Wiedersehen, Google!

Here I am again, with yet another content-less status update.

Google has just announced that they will no longer be allowing adult content on Blogger.  It's a real shame, since I believe that it is not only a hit taken by free speech(since a sizable lot of adult discussion and media is shared on Blogger) but a hit taken by this blog to be specific.  I don't update this thing anymore, or at least I haven't been.  Life has become far too busy for me and it's just difficult to write about your perversions when you have better things to focus your time on.  It's really become a quick wank and on to the next thing.

I do think this blog holds some value, despite my lack of activity; it receives over 100 unique visitors per-day!  That may not be much relative to many other sites and blogs, but I find it very impressive that even one person views my blog every day.  Multiply that satisfaction by 100, and you're looking at one pretty satisfied individual.

Even if I don't post ever again, I think this blog has a few snippets of unique content that should remain on the internet for new generations of perverts to read.  I'm not sure where I will be moving this blog to, and in the meantime I'll be looking for a blog host that will allow adult content and also has a nice interface with good features.

So stay tuned for the migration, I suppose, if you're interested.  I'll be living on my own(finally) in the next few months, so perhaps that will leave me more opportunities to begin writing new content for this blog.  Don't get your hopes up, though; I'm no longer making promises I can't keep.

- Autonomato

Tuesday, December 2, 2014

Female Dandies

Though I haven't mentioned it much before, I have long had a fascination with gender roles and the mish-mashing of them in the sexual arena.  There are actually many men who like the idea of being treated like the "woman" - wearing hyper-feminine clothing - while they are dominated by a female who is "on top", so to speak.  Sure, that'd be fun.  I've yet to try it, but I'd certainly be open to trying the stereotypically "female" role during sex.

I didn't come here to write about that, however.  The topic of this post is sparsely-written about elsewhere, as I don't know how common it is or how "in the closet" people are about it.

I'm talking about female dandies.  The word "dandy" is a somewhat antiquated term that essentially means a male seductor who pays extra attention to fashion and cleanliness to the point of coming off as possibly gay(but less so than a 'metrosexual').  The clothing and demeanor of a dandy is subtle enough that they can charm women with feminine qualities that most men do not have while still remaining available and largely harmless.  An example of a dandy is Johnny Depp, an actor of slight-build who has no problem wearing costumes and makeup(a largely female activity) for roles in movies and wears stylish clothing in his free time.  Women adore him not because he is a symbol of masculinity but because he represents qualities that women see in themselves that they subconsciously desire in a sexual partner.

Male dandies come in far more shapes and sizes these days and while they aren't as common as other seductive archetypes, they are still far more common than female dandies.

Female dandies can be defined as the inverse of a male dandy, though female dandies are usually seen more as female cross-dressers as the fact that a woman is wearing stylish male clothing can be quite striking.  Evidently, there aren't many female dandies; a search for female dandies or female cross-dressers doesn't return much.  I don't know if this is because I am alone in this paraphilia or if the Pornography Producers of America don't see a market for it.

My guess is that men who like female dandies are less-common, yet they are more common than they seem to be; after all, there are plenty of men out there who desire to be "pegged" by a woman.  There must be men out there who secretly want to have sex with a woman wearing male clothing and acting like a man(or a man with a curves, tits, a pussy, and less hair).

I would certainly hope that female dandies and even tomboys become more appreciated, but hope is all I have.  And some photos:

Sunday, November 2, 2014

I'm back. (or "What was I thinking?")

I'm back, after 2 years of ditching this blog to go live a real life.  Things have been pretty good for me and a lot has changed since this blog began.  Some things have changed for the worst, but many things are better for me.

I haven't seen this place once since I left it.

I must ask myself: What was I thinking?

Being a young man, I've changed personality-wise quite rapidly, it seems.

I'm looking through the blog right now, wondering why I wrote the things that I wrote.  I'm not sure why I was so concerned with ethics, I don't know why I wrote about virgin sex(as that was an experience long past), or why lesbians/bis are awesome(since that's not only obvious but I'm not even qualified to offer a valid hypothesis).  My writing was also atrocious in many areas.

Ah, the funny things we do in our youth...

Despite my bewilderment, I may be continuing this blog soon and I will probably be changing things.  Most of the posts won't change, though there are a few stupid ones that I'll be getting rid of.  I'm thinking of making some minor alterations to the theme(both figurative and visual), though at this point I'm not sure exactly what those alterations will be.  I do want to make this blog as inclusive as possible so that it's not yet another heterosexual male just posting naughty pictures he finds on the internet.  Ideally, women and couples would also enjoy my blog.

Though I would respond as being straight if I were asked(since I prefer women BY FAR), I believe I am technically bisexual because I have rarely found myself in some singular same-sex attractions.  Plus I actually get aroused by dicks and the things that dicks do; I just don't like the bodies that they are attached to about 98% of the time.  I also have many paraphilias and fetishes, and I am also fascinated by the paraphilias that other people have.  I find that I can learn to enjoy about 85% of what other people enjoy, even if I find those things to be weird at first.  Basically, I'm open to almost anything.

It's because of my open attitude towards these things that I feel that I still have an opportunity to offer something unique to people through this blog.  If I keep up with things here, I'd like to make this a serious-yet-fun celebration of sex.

Lastly, I may be open to having some guest writers on here.  I one person who wants to post her erotic fiction titled "Perverted Couple".  I'd like to post what she has and will continue, though I'm not entirely sure if this blog is right for it yet.  We'll see how things change.

Sunday, July 15, 2012

Pussy pumping is awesome

I first saw a pumped pussy when I was 14 years old(yup, already into porn).  I saw a video where two guys were fucking a girl, and then they put a pump over her pussy and pumped out the air to make her pussy engorged and bigger.  This actually turned me off at the time, but as you get older, you often get more perverted, so here I am now.

Recently, I looked back into the idea of pumping a pussy.  Back when I first witnessed a woman having her pussy pumped, it was more of a niche thing and rare to see.  In the past 5 years, I've noticed an increase in popularity for pussy pumping.  It's still not as common as it could be, but it's not all that unusual to come across a pussy pumping video on your average porn tube site.

I have to admit, I have begun to think that it's pretty awesome.  Not only do I get turned on by the idea of a woman doing something to her pussy to enhance her pleasure, but I get aroused by seeing a pumped pussy.  There are some pictures of pumped pussies that are weird looking, but there are quite a few that are fine as hell.

What is pussy pumping?

Seeing as anyone reading this blog probably knows enough about sex that they could either know or guess what it is, the term "pussy pumping" is self-explanatory.  But it won't take me long to explain it.

Pussy pumping is achieved through the use of a handheld vacuum pump connected to a plastic cup(of varying sizes) to increase bloodflow with the intent of engorging a pussy or the clit.  The result is a swollen pussy.  This reportedly creates more sensitivity to the pussy and may also increase tightness for the man.  Pussy pumping is also often done to satisfy fetishes, and if you like seeing a pumped pussy.

So if you are a woman and you lack sensitivity or want to enhance your sex, pussy pumping may be worth a try.  It's certainly fun for couples too!

How do I use it?

You are going to need lube to create enough suction.  If you have a pussy pump, spread some lube around the edges.  Then carefully place the cup around the pussy.  Pump away, but only if it doesn't hurt(it really shouldn't hurt at normal pressure).  Once it starts to hurt, you should stop.  Leave the cup on from anywhere between 2 to 15 minutes(more than that is overkill and probably not good for you).  Remove the cup and fuck away!

Is there a danger in using one?

There's a danger in anything, but I have pretty much concluded that pussy pumping carries relatively low risk when used properly.  There are currently no FDA approved pussy pumps, but there is one FDA approved clit pump called The Eros. 

The truth is that the skin and tissue in our genitals is vaso-congestive, meaning they are meant to be elastic and swell from increased blood flow to some degree.  While pussies don't swell as much as dicks do, they usually swell to a small degree during sexual activity.  A pussy can be pumped to a large degree without any damage.  Pussy pumps also don't cause wrinkles(as far as I know), as some have claimed.

But pussy pumping can carry risks with improper operation.  A pussy can be over-pumped to the point where small blood vessels break, creating visible dark redness in over-stressed areas of the skin.  DO NOT DO THIS!  By avoiding pain when pumping your pussy, you will likely be able to avoid this.

Monday, April 16, 2012

Virgin sex sucks

I feel like complaining about something today.

At the age I'm at, I probably won't have to deal with virgin sex again.  It may come as a shock to some of you that I think virgin sex is probably the most overrated sex there is.

Time and time again, I've heard guys talk about how great it would be to fuck a virgin, and I guess that goes to show that none of them have fucked one.  Anyone who no longer has their virginity should know that the first time... kinda sucks.

Why does the first time suck?

It's virgin sex because either party involved in intercourse has never done it before.  This is in no ways a good thing!  Virgin sex sucks because there's no experience involved.  The virgin doesn't know what the hell he/she is doing.  Sex sucks when someone doesn't know what they are doing.  But it goes beyond this.

Talking strictly about heterosexual sex, the guy almost always has a difficult time getting his dick to stay up.  The pressure to perform is insane, and I have experienced this.  I, a guy who can currently last hours and cum multiple times, couldn't keep it up during his first time.  It was insanely scary.  I'd seen plenty of porn by the time I was 16(when I tossed out my virginity), but I just wasn't prepared.  Physically connecting yourself into another human being is a very strange thing.  To top it all off, I had to wear a condom; this is a very bad idea which I will go into further detail about a little later.

The girl is nervous because she expects that it is going to hurt, which is a myth that won't die.  Granted, it is possible for it to hurt the first time if the male is well-endowed, but the hymen has very few nerve endings and while it might bleed, a girl with an ordinary hymen shouldn't be worried about it hurting because it usually doesn't.  The only other common reason that it might hurt is because the girl has vaginismus, where the muscles in the vaginal area constrict due to fear of penetration.  This disorder is almost completely psychosomatic(or idiopathic), and is essentially a feedback loop.  Under an ordinary circumstance, a female should not [need to] feel such pain upon first penetration.

Things that virgin couples do to screw up their good time:

This is a point at which I will share my own personal tips with virgin readers.

There are a lot of things that virgin couples end up doing that makes first-time sex more difficult.  First off, for the love of god, try to avoid using condoms(THE AUTHOR OF THIS BLOG IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR HOW THE READER INTERPRETS THIS BLOG).  I know that this may seem counter-intuitive, but here is why.

Condoms are awful.  Even the best ones don't compare to the real connection of flesh on flesh.  Instead of going with condoms, invest some money in an STD screening and birth control for the lady.  When I first had sex, I went through nearly every condom in the box because I couldn't get my dick to stay up!  It was already bad enough that I was having performance anxiety, but the condoms were also squeezing my dick!  I wish I could have instead taken the time and money and used it towards having some good sex.

If you have no choice but to use a condom, please read my condom review to find out about what I think is the best condom.

Also: LUBE, LUBE, LUBE!  Lube is very important.  If the guy is having performance anxiety, chances are the girl is too.  A nervous girl generally won't be as wet as she needs to be.  Don't be a cheapskate!  Buy the good stuff.  Don't waste your time cheap water-based lubes like KY Jelly.  A lot of people recommend it because they've heard other people recommend it, but trust me, it's awful.  Maybe it was great in the 1970s, but far better lubes have since arrived on the scene.  For a water-based lube, Astroglide is my #1 favorite.  It's very slick and natural-feeling, and it lasts a bit longer than other water-based lubes.  Silicone lube is the best IMO, but it's more expensive and more difficult to find.  But I have recently discovered that Astroglide has now started selling their brand of silicone lube in grocery stores.  It's fantastic!

Be honest with each other too.  I made the mistake of telling my then girlfriend that I wasn't a pervert, didn't jack off, etc.  Just be honest with each other!  Everyone likes a few weird things and it's normal.

Well, that's my rant on virginity.  It sucks, and you should be glad that it's gone.

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Lube Reviews

I promised I'd do reviews of lube a while ago, so now I have finally followed through.

To be honest, there's very little difference between most lubes.  They are mostly made of the same ingredients, but with subtle differences in mixture which you need to take into account of depending on what you are planning to do with it.

Keep in mind that this is based in the only kinds of lube I have used so far.  So here it goes.

ID Glide

Not bad.  While it's nothing special, it's about the most generic water-based lube you can get.  It's hard to go wrong with ID Glide.  I've found it to be a little too goopy for my taste, though, and it can dry quick.  Though nowadays, lube companies offer different formulations of their lubes, so I'm pretty sure ID Glide has a more liquidy version that I haven't tried yet.  If it's your first time using lube, ID Glide isn't a bad way to go.


Not bad stuff.  It's kinda like ID Glide, but the original version is a little more slick IMO.  Though not too noticeable.  This is the lube I used to use when jacking off as a teenager because it was cheap and not bad.  The problem with this one though, like ID glide, is the residue it leaves is sticky.  It requires washing.

Kroger Personal Lubricant

Complete crap.  Don't ever use this garbage.  I'm sure there are some medical uses that it suits quite well, but it doesn't work well for sex or masturbation.  It's thick as hell!  So thick that it gets so sticky quick.  Apparently you can mix it with water or use a spray bottle to re-wet it, but why the hell would you want to do that?  I want a lube that I can just take right out of the bottle and it goes to work.  Don't be fooled by the low price!  Spend your money on real lube!

KY Jelly

I've never understood why this is the default recommendation for everyone on the internet.  It's just a small step above the Kroger lube.  This stuff might have been great in the 1970s, but there are better lubes out there now!  It's not even cheaper than the Kroger brand lube, so you might as well spend that money on the good stuff.  I've always regretted cheaping out when purchasing lube.  KY has other formulations of lube now, but I haven't tried them yet just out of sheer skepticism(and because I have little money).

Warming Lubes(not just KY)

Almost every brand of lube has a "warming" version.  Supposedly warming lubricants are meant to give you a warm sensation.  This sounds great right?  Well, I wouldn't just because I've never understood the need for extra warmth.  But I've still been curious about warming lubricants.  I'll admit it now; I believe they are a rip-off.

Like my review on Durex warming condoms, my little experience with warming lubes has been a complete disaster.  It's just not the kind of warming you would want.  If anything, it's like using Vodka as lubricant.  Better yet, it's like using Icy Hot gel.  Pardon me, but fuck that!  It's true.  It's really not worth your money and time.  You'd get better results just sticking your normal lube in the microwave for a few seconds.  If you decide to try it, prepared for the possibility of this burning/stinging your penis/vulva.  There are many people who claim these lubes are great, but apparently I'm not the only one with bad experiences.  Warming lubes often smell funny as well.


I consider Astroglide to be water-based lube done right.  Rather than a gel, it's much more on the side of a liquid or mucilage.  It has a very biological feel to it, and it's very very slick!  This has been my favorite lube for a long time now.  It's great for masturbation, and good for sex if you don't feel like using cum as lube.  The problems with Astroglide are the same problems present in other water-based lubes, but they are much less a hassle.  Astroglide does dry up, but it takes a bit longer to dry out and a small amount of water/saliva brings it right back!  It also leaves behind stickiness afterward, but it's not that hard to clean.  It doesn't taste particularly good, but it's not offensive in any way.  And it has virtually no smell.

It used to be a hassle to find Astroglide.  I remember years ago the only place I'd see it was in sex shops, and no grocery stores that I knew of carried it.  Now I see it at every grocery store and drug store!  And it's not that expensive.  The small bottle goes an extremely long way, and it's usually about $8.

Astroglide X

This one is a newcomer to the general market, and it's actually a silicone lubricant!  No longer will you have to trail into seedy sex shops to buy silicone based lube!  I found this stuff at the grocery store recently so I bought myself a small bottle.  While it wasn't quite what I expected, it's a very good lube that's worth checking out!  I really didn't think I'd see the day that silicone lube would be offered at the grocery store for a reasonable price.

So again, this is silicone-based lube.  This lube in particular contains dimethicone and cyclomethicone.  There are two awesome advantages to silicone lube.  The first is that it goes an extremely long time without drying up.  It's not absorbed by the skin, and it doesn't evaporate fast like water does, so you probably won't ever need to reapply like you'd have to with other lubricants.  The second advantage that I have found, by accident, is that it is very easy to clean up.  All you have to really do is rub your hands/genitals with a dry towel and it's as if that stuff was never there.  It doesn't smell and it never gets sticky.  

You might be wondering what this lube is like.  Well it's actually more like an oil than your usual water-based lubricant.  It feels much like a very sleek but inert oil, and since it is a poor conductor of heat, the first thing you will notice is that your dick/pussy will feel warmer than with the usual water-based lube(with which heat evaporates away with it).  While it is thinner than most lubricants, it's definitely not the same thing as using olive/grapeseed oil.  Those are absorbed by your skin and really aren't the best lubricants out there.  Silicone is far superior to using any old oil.

As far as I can tell, while it is not "edible" in the sense of digestion, but I think it is inert enough that it can be consumed and will pass safely through the digestive system.  While you shouldn't take my word for it, it seems like silicone-based lubricants are safe and not toxic.

Apparently the silicones in this lube aren't water soluble per se, but from my experience, it does not "repel" water in the same way that common vegetable oils do.  So it shouldn't prove too messy when coming in contact with water-based liquids such as bodily fluids.

I'm still trying to decide whether or not I like the silicone version of Astroglide better than the original version.  It's very different, but I could get used to it.  It's really worth giving a try.  It may just be your thing!  However it costs about $3 more than original Astroglide.

UPDATE: I have pretty much concluded that Astroglide X silicone lube is my new all-time favorite.  Since your skin doesn't absorb it, it's like nothing ever happened.  Your penis is left feeling fresh and new, unlike with water-based lubes where your dick feels kind of sticky even after you have washed it.

Friday, March 16, 2012

Cum Science part 1

I know I missed out on another great alliteration, but I like the word cum.

This is a series I'm starting up dedicated to the science of semen.  I have a fetish for certain bodily fluids, especially cum.  So I have taken up an interest in discovering how we can do more with it.

So to start off, I'll talk about what I've discovered so far.

Storing Cum

It's actually somewhat difficult to store cum; the reason being that it is not very shelf-stable and it is biologically made to decoagulate, leaving us with a thin translucent fluid that smells alkaline.  This decoagulation process does not take long.  After about an hour or so, cum is of very little good.  Most people who enjoy cum usually agree that only fresh cum will do(though I am interested in seeing if decoagulated cum can be "resurrected").

In case you, the reader, haven't thought about storing cum, there are a few reasons why people might do it.  Having cum stored in a container may allow a male to get sexual pleasure from cum without having to deal with the refractory period.  The refractory period can be avoided through careful edging, but sometimes people don't have the time or desire to learn how to edge.  Storing cum also gives you the ability to play with copious amounts of cum at the same time.

The storage method most often used is freezing.  It seems to be the only practical method of storing cum long term where you still get a good result.  But there are problems with this method:  Unless you live alone or with a willing partner, it might be infeasible to store cum in a freezer.  The other problems are that the cum must be frozen within minutes of ejaculation, and it must also be properly thawed(which can take more time if a large amount of cum is stored).

I wanted to look into a way to making cum shelf-stable; to be able to store it at room temperature without it congealing or smelling rank.  From research, I discovered that prostate-specific antigen(PSA) is what causes cum to liquefy, so that the sperm can swim freely.  This is great if you want to make babies, but if you want to store cum without freezing it, it is kind of a problem.  Unfortunately, I still haven't found a way to inhibit the PSA.  I have even tried flash-pasteurizing cum(ROFL) at 130-140 F and it doesn't make a significant difference.  Apparently there is a serpin called Human Serpin A5, which is a protein C inhibitor and can inhibit PSA.  But I can find no other data on how this serpin is derived, or where and if it can be purchased.  That does not seem like a practical solution, and it's questionable as to whether humans should be consuming any about of manufactured serpin.

As far as preventing cum from degrading, I hypothesized that a germicidal bulb would be an easy way to kill sperm and bacteria.  At the time I wanted to perform an experiment, I did not have a lot of money so I could not afford a proper UV sterilization bulb, so I had to settle for a UV sterilization wand.  I do not believe the wand was effective enough.  It may have been effective at making microbes unable to reproduce, but when I viewed exposed cum under a microscope, it did not seem to immediately kill the organisms.  At some point, when I have the opportunity, I want to try a proper UV sterilization on cum.  But until then, I think I will focus more on making cum stay "fresh".

A while ago, I read a blog someone wrote on storing cum in small vials.  The claim was that if the cum wasn't exposed to air, it could be stored in the vials for over a week.  I haven't tried this yet, but this would seem to contradict the theory that PSA is the main cause of cum liquefication.  Perhaps isolating cum from air protects it from organisms that would change its consistency?

The Smell

When I'm really in the mood, the smell and taste actually don't bother me.  But in general, the smell isn't all that pleasant.  One can liken the essence to that of bleach, due to the alkalinity.  Now I have read that there are compounds in cum that cause the smell, but I think I may have figured out a simple way to make stored cum smell more pleasant.

I discovered this accidentally, but I still need to do more tests.  I wanted to see if an edible acid, particularly citric acid, would inhibit or destroy PSA so the cum wouldn't liquefy.  I hand-added some citric acid granules, a small fraction of a teaspoon, into a sterile cup with a shot of cum.  While I did not succeed in effecting degradation, I noticed something unusual about the cum; the bleach-like scent was completely gone!  I gave it several whiffs, but nothing!  I gave the cum a small taste, and it tasted just fine too.  The citric acid(in the amount I added) had no negative effect on the taste and consistency, but it solved the smell!

I hypothesize that this is because whatever causes the smell is basic, or high on the pH scale.  Perhaps the citric acid is able to neutralize the compounds that cause the smell so they no longer have an odor.

If you want to experiment with citric acid, it can actually be purchased at some grocery stores under the name "sour salt".

This experiment may actually add a little credibility to the idea that eating foods full of citric acid, such as pineapple, can make cum more palatable since smells can effect taste.  I still don't know of any evidence that consumed citric acid makes it into cum, but at the premise seems more plausible at this point.