Like I mentioned in a recent post, I got the flu a little while ago and it caused my sex drive to plummet to absolute zero. Rarely have I ever been that uninterested in sex. I went a while without porn or regular masturbation; this helped me recover, but not completely. Even after fapstainance, I was not getting up to speed. My dick just wasn't getting as hard as it normally would and I wasn't getting the satisfaction out of masturbation or porn that I was getting.
At one point, I was a sexual god; I could fuck my girlfriend ad infinitum until she was fully satisfied, and I could cum on/in her 6+ times. Good thing we were both cum fiends!
Remembering back, I realized that I became a sexual god because I had trained myself through edging. My workload in my professional life for the last 2 years had trained my brain and my dick to be lazy and only want what only seems like only the highest form of gratification. I'm talking about wanking to porn for about 15 minutes and then having a full orgasm.
In retrospect, I wanted to go back to a time where I was in a constant state of horniness and I could fuck a girl senseless and squirt my cum all over her without losing my stamina. So I started to edge again.
For those of you who are not familiar with edging, it's all about carefully masturbating while not having a full orgasm. Some would define it as "just don't ejaculate" but, as I have previously demonstrated, it is not about the ejaculation but the orgasm. The ejaculation can be separated from the full orgasm and be very pleasurable in and of itself. My general edging method is to simply masturbate as long as I can without having an orgasm before I just can't hold it back anymore, at which point I may decide to let my orgasm finally come(it's pretty glorious), or I will stop completely until the following day. Right now, I am doing far more of the latter.
The reason to edge while still having an orgasm is not only to increase the overall pleasure but to teach yourself where your PONR is and how to mentally and physically prepare yourself to not have an orgasm if you decide. I'm taking edging to a further extreme by not having a full orgasm at all, and I've been doing this day after day for about a week now. I did fail initially, but it didn't take me long to get my discipline back. Failure is an integral part of learning.
Here's an outline of the benefits I have found in edging:
- Orgasms feel so much better when you've been holding them off for as long as possible.
- It teaches you to be a better lover. If you have control over when you orgasm, you can pleasure your mate for as long as she needs you to. With discipline and knowing your limits, you won't be having issues being finished too soon.
- You can learn to ejaculate multiple times without having a full orgasm, hence bypassing the evil male refractory period. If you or your lover has a cum fetish, this would allow you to squirt cum without losing interest; this is perfect if you've been wanting to taste your own fresh cum.
- The prolonged orgasmless masturbation brought on by edging can be more pleasurable than typical masturbation itself. It's not always easy to appreciate the finer things in life, but once you can appreciate the heightened state of arousal from edging you will have put yourself on a whole different level of pleasure and thought. Sex and masturbation become less and less of a means to an end.
- In general, you may feel like more of a sex fiend than even from fapstainance alone. I believe that putting myself in long states of heightened arousal without orgasm keeps me in a relatively horny state for hours or days. I'm noticing women far more and I desire them more than usual; sometimes seeing a woman that I want to fuck blocks out all my other logical thoughts. Since I desire women even more, I actually feel more motivated to go up and talk to them.
- Your penis might only stay in a semi-flaccid state when not in use; it may feel like your body is constantly getting ready for sex. This can be a good or bad thing depending on who you are and where you work.
All I can find are benefits. Everything I have listed here is a counter-argument to what the clowns at yourbrainonporn.com and fightthenewdrug.org have to say. Actually, I feel bad for linking you to what are panaceas of misinformation and bad science. If there's anything inherently harmful about watching porn and edging, I certainly haven't experienced it. I'd love to write a whole article dedicated to deconstructing those websites that promote myths about the harm of porn and frequent masturbation, but that's a large undertaking and my be a while from now.
Anyway, if at least one of those benefits I listed appeals to you, definitely give edging a try if you haven't already. Here are some tips that may help:
- Consider not using lube. While I absolutely love using lube, I don't think that it's very well suited for when you are training yourself through edging since the lube can feel too good which will give you much less control if you come close to the PONR. I've gone over the PONR a few times before because even though I had removed my hands from my penis, it would accidentally touch against my leg or a blanket and the lube would make it feel so good that I'd instantly shoot. Maybe once you have mastered edging without lube you can move on to using lube continue the challenge and further improve your performance.
- Turn your eyes away from any porn or erotic imagery when you are right at your PONR! I've had instances where I'd get right up to a point where I couldn't wank anymore without having an orgasm, but because I was still staring at a screen full of naked ladies I would come just from the visual stimulation alone. Hands free! It's pretty cool actually, but also disappointing if you are on an edging regime. This does not happen when I make sure to look away from my computer when I'm close to having an orgasm.
- Learn to be able to recognize when your vas deferens fills up with cum to prepare for ejaculation/orgasm. People who are inexperienced tend not to notice when it happens, but you can definitely feel it once you realize when it happen and how it feels. It's a great indicator of that you are getting close to your PONR and you can use it to gauge when to try to ejaculate without cumming(which is very difficult at first for a while).
- Even if you aren't at your PONR yet, occasionally interrupt yourself with serious business such as work/chores/homework. Make sure the serious business you have to take care of is completely antithetical to being aroused; once your penis is soft again, go right back to masturbating. This self-teasing will drive your ANS wild, creating a roller coaster of arousal that is yet another challenge will help you master your PONR.
- Get plenty of sleep! Lack of sleep reduce's one's ability to fight off the PONR. It's easy to forego several hours of sleep when one is in the middle of an edging regime; the pleasure makes it very hard to stop. If you have lost sleep from edging late at night for more than a day, consider taking a break from edging for a day and be sure to get a solid 8 hours of sleep in.
THOUGHT: Are there any women who edge? I have never heard of female edging. Even though women do not have the refractory period that men do, I'm sure the other benefits such as the euphoric state during extended arousal and stronger orgasms would apply to them too. If you are a woman and you've tried edging, please leave a comment on your experience!